Date: Mon, 5 Aug 1996 21:03:30 -0400 (EDT) From: "Bernice B. Cousins" Subject: Fwd: Scientists Discover New ... (fwd) This appears to be vitally important to the understanding of how things move! Replaces the Einstein's theory of relativity with the Notion of non-relative interaction! bbc - ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Mon, 5 Aug 1996 19:58:08 -0400 From: Barkone@aol.com Subject: Fwd: Scientists Discover New ... Have to smile sometimes:) - --------------------- Forwarded message: Subj: Scientists Discover New Element Date: 96-08-05 18:29:34 EDT From: JRDVMDIVER The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by physicists at MIT. The element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of zero. However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson like particles called morons. Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes into contact with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium caused one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally occur in less than one second. Administratium has a normal half life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay but instead, undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increases after each reorganization. Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such as government agencies, large corporations, and universities and can usually be found in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained buildings. Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being make to determine how Administratium can be controlled to prevent irriversible damage but results to date are not promising.